My name is Marty Rantzen, I am a high schooler at Doddsville County High School. It's a big school, filled with lots of creeps and jerks. The building is HUGE! You should see the place. It looks like a castle!
I love chemistry!!! I can mix concoctions like no other. Unfortunately the other kids don't admire chemistry as much as I do...
My best friend Evan moved away last fall, so I'm pretty much alone right now. I nearly had a girlfriend but she went out with Greg Peters instead. I've never had intercourse, but boy do I want to! There's this one really cute babe, but she'd never go for a scientist like me, she's into those sports kids. I hope that one of these days my charm wins her over. I'll wait for her to come to me first.
My favorite music is classical and pop. I love that New Wave stuff, it really gets me going! I'd list my favorite bands, but I have so many I don't know who to list first!
I hope to become a scientist in the future. And a chick magnet. I'm going to create a mixture which will convince chicks to go after me. And those jocks will be so jealous!
My birthday is on April Fools day, and every year the kids at school play pranks on me. Some present, huh? These pranks get worse every birthday! What next?
Just so you know, the rumours about me are false. That's all.
This is what they wrote on the bathroom wall. It's been there for weeks and nobody has done anything!
How typical of them...